Raw Drip

A very dear friend of mine has a problem.  She talks to herself – a lot.  It’s gotten so bad that her co-workers have begun teasing her about it.  Not content to remain a victim, she decided to turn to the Internet for some advice on how to overcome this habit.  

Below are the results of her search on WikiHow, followed by my commentary in italics.

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Find yourself talking aloud to yourself?  This is a big habit a lot of people have, and if it is a problem something should be done.

STEPS:

1) Decide whether or not it is a problem, only you can decide if it is a problem.  And if you do decide it is, you have to be serious about attacking your problem, being motivated isn’t enough.

(Ask yourself if you’ve got a problem.  If the people around you respond, odds are pretty good it’s a problem.)

2) Be around lots of people, make conversation with them, look at what is around the atmosphere, show you are willing to have conversation.

(…conversation with someone other than yourself, that is)

3) When you find you are talking to yourself, have the conversation inside your head. This will help dramatically.

(Just make sure your lips aren’t moving or you’ll  frighten the other inmates.)

4) Try to cut down on what you say to yourself.  Example: if you decide having a normal conversation with yourself aloud you can only say two sentences while trying to find something in your bag, whatever.

(A bonus of brevity: by limiting yourself, you won’t burden yourself with too many details about yourself!)

5) Tell yourself not to talk to yourself.  But not out loud. 

(Remember, always use your “inside” voice.)

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Between the circular references and ADHD writing style, this so-called solution may be the single best example of the downside of collaborative knowledge sharing, I’ve ever seen.   I think matters of mental health are best left to the professionals – and Tom Cruise.

I was planning to write more - but step #5 has me laughing too hard to type.