Raw Drip

As my posse was driving to Chick-fil-A for “Kids Eat Free” Tuesday somehow the topic shifted to who’s the coolest person each of us has ever known.  Reliably, Adam’s was Shaggy from Scooby Doo and Tabitha’s was her friend, Charlie.  I didn’t need to hesitate with my response. 

Immediately I declared that Dick was the coolest person I’d ever know.  I meant it, too – -from the bottom of my heart.  He is, without a doubt, the coolest person in the world to me.  My charming, smart, funny, kind and beloved Dick.

I smiled and gazed over at my handsome husband, stroking his cheek with my fingertips.  Dick smiled back at me and said, “Kids, your grandfather is by far the coolest person I’ve ever known.”

“OUCH!”, I exclaimed in faux agony.  “Your father is the coolest person you’ve ever known?  How can that be?  Where am I on the cool-o-meter?”

Dick squirmed slightly in his chair.

“For a chick, you’re definitely cool.”

“Okaaay…still in pain over here…”

Dick rolled his eyes.  “You’re completely misunderstanding what I’m saying.  I think we have two very different interpretations of ‘cool’.  You are wonderful, clever, thoughtful and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“And that doesn’t make me cool?”

“That makes you the most wonderful person I’ve ever known,” Dick said, caressing my hand.

“Well, for the record, you are both the coolest AND the most wonderful person I’ve ever know,” I replied.

Dick sighed and looked at me with that annoyed expression that told me I was fast falling off his “most wonderful person” list, as well. 

“What?  It’s not like I have anything to lose now that I know I’m not cool.”

“Fine, then.  You’re cool.  Can we change the subject now?”

“I don’t want your token cool, I want to be ‘the coolest ever’!  Because you insisted on relegating me to merely wonderful, I’m going to rescind my description of you as the coolest person ever and choose someone who worships me with more enthusiasm than you’re  interested in showing.”

“Who would that be?” Dick asked in a voice full of condescension.

“I haven’t decided yet.  I’m trying to give you time to reconsider your previous statement about my coolness.”

“Sam, you REALLY need to let it go…Really.”