When Dick (aka Tech Support) registered Raw Drip for me he also created a Google Analytics account so I can see some basic web stats, mainly who’s visiting, how long they’re staying on my site, and what kinds of keywords they’re using to find me.  Honestly, I don’t really use or understand most of the features.  I just love to click on the colorful little map icon to see how many states and countries are reading me.  It’s so cool.

But a recent review of the keyword searches some of you’ve used to find Raw Drip are, well, disturbing.  With little more than a few bizarre keywords to go on, I’ve reached three conclusions about you.

1) You’re poop-obsessed

Searching for terms like “newborn poop explosive stinky watery”, “poo explosion” and “baby shit” can only point to someone who is poo-sessed.  I’m a little sympathetic here, as I recall the days of new parenting - monitoring every bit of solid waste emerging from my newborn infant - analyzing its frequency, color, consistency, and odor. 

These days, I continue to suffer from my own bit of fecal fixation with my days spent cleaning up both literal and metaphorical poop.  Funny how life progresses, eh?  You start out pooping in your pants, then you learn to poop in the potty, then you develop a potty mouth and learn to talk shit about people, then you start cleaning up other people’s poop, and finally, you end up back at square one - pooping in your pants again. 

2) You’re into porn 

Okay, so you’re searching for “raw penis”, “penis dripping”, and ”porn” clearly you’re looking for a little action - or some online urology expertise.

3) You’re a complete nut-job

And, then there are the few of you who defy explanation.   

  • Who goes online and searches for pictures of “People shitting on autoflush toilets”?  Plural?  That’s some VERY specific searching going on there.  
  • ‘Fess up - which one of you has been searching for “Anderson Cooper sex Yeti on Mars”?  Now, I don’t know Mr. Cooper personally, but something tells me that he’s probably not into Yeti sex and it’s doubtful that he’s been to Mars lately.  I could be wrong… 
  • “Bob the Builder and Wendy having sex” - I’m amused (and mildly sickened) that Raw Drip was one of the results of your search.

One thing I’ve learned through my exploration of keywords - my blog continues to be as meandering and unfocused as it’s always been.  I’m not sure I’m too keen on changing that.  I kind of like that fact that I don’t fall neatly into a category.  Raw Drip - not really a meal, not really a dinner. 

So, I guess rambling is my style.  Even if it’s not, I think I’m going to continue to play topical hopscotch with you just for the fun of discovering how fascinating and weird you are.   Thank you for being so entertaining.