The Disease: Parenthood

The Symptoms:

  • An inability to sleep for longer than 4 to 6 hours at a time
  • Confusion
  • General irritability
  • Confusion
  • Irrational worry
  • Clairvoyance
  • Rapid mood swings
  • A propensity for snot encrusted apparel
  • A vague odor often described as a mix of sweaty kid stink mixed with stale urine, Ivory soap, and chocolate milk

Treatment Options:
The regular application of a childcare professional is strongly advised in those hardest hit with this insidious affliction. There is no known cure for this disease, but some psychotropic drugs have been known to provide temporary relief from the symptoms.

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