Raw Drip

Good news for all you shameless jewelry whores out there: no more waiting around for your husband or partner to buy you that dazzling diamond ring you want (and deserve, damnit!).  No more scrimping to save money to buy yourself one of those popular right hand diamond rings, either.  Those right hand rings are lovely – for mass-marketed jewelry, that is – but they lack imagination or panache, especially when compared to the alternative I stumbled upon recently…

LifeGem is a company that produces manufactured diamonds made from carbon extracted from your deceased loved one’s (or pet’s) cremains.  How’s that for ingenuity!  Not to worry – you don’t have to wait until your cheap bastard husband croaks to get that precious carbon sample you need for your new rock!  LifeGem can also work their geophysical magic with something as simple as a lock of hair or a few baby teeth shed during early childhood.  

Can you imagine the look on your husband’s face when you show off 3 carats, of colorless, flawless diamond fabulousness, as you reveal that it was made from his forgotten childhood collection of  yellowed bicuspids shed in the 2nd grade?  Come on – what else says true love more than wearing around a dazzling piece of your soul mate & life partner?  Those bicuspids never looked SO good!

And, unlike your actual mate, a diamond will last forever and it will always look good, and, more importantly, it always make YOU look even better!  Once you get over the initial ick factor of jewelry made from your loved one,  a memorial diamond really is a great way to honor your love – to make it truly eternal - right? 

Well, at least that’s what I thought until I read this customer testimonial from LifeGem’s website: 

“…Thank you so very much…it (the LifeGem diamond) is absolutely stunning. I opened the box, and there it was..the exact color of my mother’s eyes!”

Ew.  Okay, so that pretty much ruined it for me.  Let’s just say that this whole concept now falls squarely into my personal discomfort zone, along with bizarre customs like wakes and private viewings.  Creepy!

So, on second thought, maybe a manufactured, mass-marketed diamond isn’t so bad after all?  Maybe something that lasts forever is special enough on its own -  paid for in bits by your husband, rather than MADE FROM bits of your husband.  A diamond is almost certainly forever, but a lifetime of love and friendship wouldn’t be nearly as precious without an expiration date.