Raw Drip

I am a huge fan of the book I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Modern Motherhood and I’m thrilled to see that the authors have released a new book called Dirty Little Secrets from Otherwise Perfect Moms. This new book is a collection of surprising and secret parenting shortcuts, as well as guilty confessions about those moments when we all wish we could just crawl under the nearest rock and die.

So, inspired by the bravery of the many moms whose confessions allowed this book to be, I’ve decided to get off my high horse and spill my guts. In no particular order, here are my top 3 guilty confessions:

Confession #1: Our children are only sporadic teeth brushers
Hello? Like, they’re going to fall out anyway? What’s the big deal? Besides, what’s more important – that they stay up an extra 20 minutes to brush their baby teeth, or that they get all of the sleep they need to keep from getting kicked out of daycare? I vote for the latter.

Confession #2: I secretly eat the kids’ treats
When I have a wicked sweet tooth that won’t be satiated with a WW-sanctioned serving of Splenda-dusted fruit, I secretly eat the kid’s sugary treats and then blame their absence on the dog or unexpectedly premature spoilage. Come on – it’s not like Dick can spot spoiled food and the kids are convinced that the dog is constantly on the prowl for their treats, anyway. So, I’m not really lying to anyone – just not telling the truth.

Confession #3: I am a cheapskate
When Adam reaches under the sneeze guard at our local bakery and eats the sugared pecans off the sticky buns, I discipline him but I usually don’t say anything to the clerk because I don’t want to pay for them.

I could go on, but let’s start with these 3 and I’ll work my way up to more. Besides, why should I do this by myself? I know I have some loyal drips out there who are also “perfect” moms. Time to ‘fess up, ladies! Show some sisterhood! Go ahead and embrace the relative anonymity of the internet and tell me your dirty little mommy secret…