It’s been a really hard week.  First there was my job – which has been unrelenting in its demands that I pay constant attention to it, as it exhausts me with it’s insistence that we pretend to care about each other.  It’s a seriously dysfunctional relationship…

Then there are my children – moody, complicated creatures who seemingly have taken this week to embrace every, single, little opportunity to engage me and Dick in an emotional (and sometimes physical) tug of war.   Frankly, I’m tempted to just drop the rope and let ’em all fall on their butts…  

Of course there are tertiary concerns  – ominpresent demands such as household chores, bills to pay, groceries to buy, a husband to do.   It’s no wonder I’m a stress case.

Maybe it’s just me, but somehow every Fall turns into a blurry, stress-filled sprint from Labor Day to the holidays.  I think it’s all the craziness that’s driven me into a darker mood today.  My brain just can’t muster the energy to allow me to pretend that I’m cheerful or that I give a shit.   Maybe it’s because I feel powerless to affect real change at home or at work.  Maybe it’s because I’m tired, I’m uncaffeinated and, well,  I’m just surrendering – allowing all the little stuff to get to me.  It’s all of the above, I suspect.

In light of the generally bitchy mood I’m in today – please join me in contributing to, what I’m calling “The Bitch Board.”  Today’s bitch board topics include:

People with bumper stickers proclaiming that their husband is smarter than someone else’s 3rd grader at {insert Elementary School name here}
Please – don’t give your husband so much credit, ladies.  I mean, smarter than a 3rd grader?  I don’t think so.  Maybe if it read “is almost as smart as a 3rd grader…”

Edna Lee, you know a lot about third graders and a thing or two about grown men.  Please jump in here and back me up on this…

The drycleaners
So dry cleaning is bad for the environment, I know, but my biggest problem with the drycleaners is that they want to charge me $1.50 to launder Dick’s cotton work shirts and then insist that my cotton work blouses need to be dry cleaned at $5.00 a pop!  If they are the exact same material, what’s up?  I’m telling you ladies, we’re being ripped off here…

People in the workplace with obnoxious cell phone ring tones who leave their ringer volume cranked up to the maximum setting
FYI, I don’t need to hear your bad, free midi version of “Baby Got Back” played over and over again at eardrum shattering volume all day long while you’re in a team meeting.  Either put it in your pocket, clip it to your belt and take it with you, stuff it in a desk drawer, or turn it the f&*#$ off!

Friends and distant family who never contact you and then out of the blue send you an obnoxious chain email
If you don’t care enough to think of me and actually type a short message and click send from time to time, then please don’t insult me by forwarding me the latest political smear email, phony money-making schemes, fake sob stories involving children with no shoes who are afflicted with cancer.  I’m keen to hear from my friends & family – no matter the  distance in time or space – it’s flattering to be acknowledged.  But let’s stop substituting a mindless “It’s the thought that counts” email forward for ACTUAL communication.   And for goodness sake – here’s the link to – a website that is devoted to debunking urban myths, rumors and chain email.  Check it out before you go sending it on to someone who, momentarily, thinks she’s getting a personal note from you only to find out that you’ve sent her crap.

End of Bitch Session

Whew!  That was very restorative.  Thanks for reading.  I feel so much better.  I think if I rip off one more rant session tomorrow, followed up by a few glasses wine after the kiddies go to bed, I’ll be in much better shape by Monday.  If not, you have my permission to add your own rant about my writing to The Bitch Board.   It’s only fair, after all.

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