Raw Drip

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a sick and twisted individual. I rejoice in the public humiliation of others.

I am incredibly clumsy. Anyone who knows me will tell you that they’ve seen me sprawled on the floor countless times – the victim of my own limbs which seem to have been designed for the express purpose of tripping me up. I suspect my last breaths will be spent silently reliving all the fantastically humiliating falls, trips & stumbles that make up most of the “Oh shit!” moments of my life.

But, it’s one thing for me to trip and fall all over the place; it’s quite another to see an otherwise graceful woman indelicately, spectacularly wipe out in public. Now that’s entertainment!

One example is the unfortunate fanny fall Miss USA took during the recent Miss Universe Pageant. This poor, annoyingly perfect woman’s fall was more widely publicized and broadcast than the actual show itself, whose ratings have taken their own notorious fanny fall in recent years. I know the media is hard up for news now that the Branjelina twins have arrived so rather than pretend that Miss USA’s moment of public humiliation is somehow newsworthy, I think the media should’ve just called it what it is – entertainment for the rest of us.

When it comes to watching the beautiful, rich, or priveleged being publicly humiliated, none of us seems to have a problem with tapping into our inner dark side. Perhaps it’s because a spectacular fall is the tiniest bit of justice fate or bad judgement can exact upon an otherwise beautiful and fortunate person. A really good public fall levels the playing field just a wee bit.

So, I bring to you, this mindless bit of pure entertainment, sans judgment. Please enjoy, Bulgarian supermodels falling down…

Now, come on. You can’t tell me you don’t feel just a bit better about your day having seen that display of hilarious humiliation.

My favorite parts of the video are A) When the first model ever-so-non-chalantly begins walking down the white outter-edge of that shiny catwalk, B) When, like, the 5th or 6th model walks out and you can see the fear on her face as she visibly teeters on the edge, carefully watching her every footstep and C) When they finally send out a crew to inspect (and mop) the runway.

Okay, so I get that these poor women were falling because they’re teetering in 5 inch heels, wearing skin tight clothing, with bright lights shining in their eyes and walking on an, apparently, oil-slicked surface, therefore, odds were good for a wipe out. Still, would it be too sick and twisted of me to watch it again, laughing and pointing at their misery? Because I still move through life with all the grace of a drunken elephant and I could use some distraction from my omnipresent awkardness.

I’ll watch again and let you know.