Raw Drip

Since discovering the “Create Your Own Card” feature on someecards.com, I’ve become an unstoppable card creator often spending hours at my computer writing for fun and no profit.  When I shared my new obsession with several of my girlfriends, they were horrified at my stupidity. 

“Why would you license your great ideas for free?   Now someecards will make money off your back.  You’re like an intellectual property whore – just giving it away!”

 

“Whores charge for it, actually.  I think a more apt description of me would be intellectual property slut since I give my ideas away for free.”

 

“Whatever. My point is this: why aren’t you writing all these cards for Hallmark or finding some way to parlay your gift for pith into a business?”

 

“I don’t know.  I guess I just love that I’ve been given a free & easy vehicle for writing something that makes people laugh.  I don’t possess the marketing savvy to communicate my brilliance to a broad audience.  So, really, they’re doing me a favor, right?  Besides, maybe my cards will become so popular they’ll be forced to hire me.  How cool would that be?” 

 

“You’re delusional if you think anyone is hiring right now…”

 

“Hm.  Good point.  Well, let me know if you can think of a way to merchandise my creative genius and I’ll ditch my slutty ways and become a intellectual property whore for you.”

 

[silence...]

*****

Writing an ever-growing collection of free cards is demanding work; work that’s really hampered by the demands of my family and my job.  That means I’m listening to my friends.  I’m giving serious consideration to any ways I can transition from being an intellectual property slut to an intellectual property whore.

I figure if I maintain this pace I’m either going to creatively exhaust myself or somehow turn all of this into a job offer or some other money-making venture.  Either way, I need the help of my loyal drips.  Pimp me out!  I beg of you!  My attempts at tricking you to buy things off Raw Drip have failed to make me any money, so I think you cheapskates owe me some web 2.0 love.  Here’s what you can do to help: 

1. Click here for Samantha’s selection of  cards available only on someecards.com. 
2. While you’re there, vote for my cards, or better yet, send one of my cards to a friend, or an enemy – your choice. 
3. Share the link to this post or the link to my cards on the social networking site of your choosing (see the bottom of this post for links to digg, del.icio.us, facebook, and Twitter) 

Working together, we can overcome my stupid, intellectually slutty ways and, hopefully, add some money to my pile of funny.

Despite having un-subscribed from Astrology.com’s sexist email spam, this is what showed up in my inbox this morning:

“Is he thinking about leaving you”? 

Seriously??  And what’s up with the picture of that worried woman with sex hair?  Are they implying that she just put out and now he’s thinking of leaving her because she sucks in bed?   What about his neediness, his commitment issues, or his extremely tiny penis?  How about we retitle this ad, “Why aren’t you thinking of leaving HIM?”

[Cleansing breaths, cleansing breaths...finding my center]

Okay, so now I’m on a mission.  Next step is a letter to the Astrology.com people.  As a subsidiary of NBC Universal I’d suggest we women boycott by not watching NBC shows, but given their Neilsen rankings, it seems the rest of America is one step ahead of us…

I think reading one’s daily astrological forecast is a fun, harmless ritual – pure entertainment. I belong to Astrology.com’s subscription service which emails me my daily horoscope. However, the unfortunate side effect of this daily ritual is an onslaught of spam email from the Astrology.com people, who seem to be convinced that emailing me every few hours with provocative subject lines, such as “Is He Planning to Leave You?” and “Is He Your Real Soul Mate?” will somehow strike fear in my heart and compel me to spend all my money on their computer-generated “forecasts”.

Here’s a snapshot of one of today’s spam emails with the subject line “Is it time to move on?”. Personally, I think the tone of this message is downright hostile towards women.

“Do you find yourself thinking about him constantly, wondering where he is, who he’s with, and if he’ll come back?”

“Find out if you should stop looking backward and start looking forward to finding your true soul mate.”

[read: "You're an obsessive, pathetic, loser. We know where your real soul mate is and he's waiting for you to get your act together..."]

Am I the only one gobsmacked by the sexist overtones in this ad? It relies on tried and true gender stereotyping to prey upon the vulnerabilities of women. Does anyone really think that men are out there, en masse, sitting in front of their computer monitors, reading their Astrology.com email and panicking over thoughts that their soul mate may be packing up to leave them (presumably soulless)? Of course not! And if men were Astrology.com’s target audience, wouldn’t the provactive subject lines read something more like, “Drive Your Woman Wild in the Bedroom”?

This got me thinking: is the above ad for Astrology.com any less sexist than some of these ridiculously sexist vintage ads I found on the blog, Found in Mom’s Basement? You tell me…

Of course, it’s all my fault for subscribing to daily horoscopes in the first place. I was “asking for it”…

Comments are on. Don’t be shy, ladies!