Raw Drip

At home with Tabitha yesterday I noticed something interesting about my coffee mug. First things first - I wasn’t drinking out of just any ordinary coffee mug. I was drinking from my Famous Democrats coffee mug (see crappy pic on the left).

Because I’m a believer in our democratic process you should know that I also purchased a Famous Republicans coffee mug with the Famous Democrats - they were a boxed set, actually. But unfortunatley, just after purchasing my mugs from NYC favorite Fishs Eddy, I tripped and fell along E. 16th street, crushing the Republicans under my handbag. Coincidence? I think not!

So, as I’m sitting in my pjs reading my book yesterday, I glanced down at my mug and noticed for the first time that Famous Democrat Barack Obama is on the top row of Democrats (nearest the rim of the cup) along the same line as Bill Clinton, JFK, and Eleanor Roosevelt. On the bottom row, just below Barack and to his left sits Hillary Clinton. Also on the bottom row are Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, and Jessie Jackson. Hm. Notice a pattern here? I did. Everyone on the top row is a highly succesful Democratic figure. Everyone on the bottom row of that mug has a failed presidential bid on their hands or, in Jimmy’s case, is generally regarded as having been unsuccessful in the role. Another coincidence? I think not!

So, behold loyal drips! I am convinced. My coffee mug see-eth the future! Go figure. Not since I got a 3 of a kind on the bottom of a poker coffee cup purchased from a street vendor in NYC, have I found such hope for the future in a cuppa.

For most people, the word “vacation” conjures images of road trips, beach getaways, sleeping in and relaxation. But almost any working parent will tell that their definition of a vacation involves mostly those last two elements - sleep & relaxation. These two elements are the most precious to parents because they are so elusive. With small children around, even if you manage to escape to a beach house, you’re still going to be up at the crack of dawn feeding finicky eaters and refereeing fights about who did what to whom. It’s hardly much of a break, really. This means, when your children are too young for sleep-away summer camp, the only true vacation days in your life are the ones you enjoy when you’re home from work while the kids are at school.

So when I tell you that I had a vacation planned for last week, you should understand that my vacation was of this, most perfect variety. My relaxation plan: during the week, with children at school and Dick at work it was just going to be me, the dog, and the luxuriously quiet house in which I would fit about 4 years worth of sleeping, reading, and housecleaning into my mostly open schedule.

I say “mostly open” because I started off my vacation at work. You see, at the last minute, I was forced to shorten my vacation day on Monday because of a mandatory meeting. Once the meeting ended around noon, I decided to execute on my relaxation plan but only after sqaundering a few precious hours running errands.

With errands completed and off my mind, I returned home with the intention of collapsing on the sofa for a nap in the late, rainy afternoon. Just as I started to drift into that rare deeply relaxed state where you feel as though your body is floating away - as though you’ve been slipped anti-anxiety meds or muscle relaxants - I was startled awake by the jarring barking of the dog and the sound of the front door flying open. I soon learned that Dick had been called to pick up Adam from school because of a high fever. Sure enough, his temperature was nearly 102. So much for that fabulous afternoon nap.

Those of you with children in daycare know that once a fever has been detected in your child, they don’t want to see his infectious little feet darkening their doorstep for at least 24 hours. That meant my Tuesday “off” was now going to be spent “on” as I desperately tried to entertain a bored (and not at all feverish) 4 year old boy.

Thankfullly by Wednesday, Adam was better, his fever having broken about 22 hours before. But sadly for me, Wednesday was the only day I absolutely could NOT take off from work because I had two critical project meetings that I needed to lead. So, no vacation on Wednesday. Thankfully, there’s always Thursday.

Thursday, July 3rd, was definitely going to be my day. No doubt about it. Thursday would be my day for sleeping in, taking it easy, maybe accomplishing a few things around the house. The world was my oyster. Naturally I slept in. Well, I slept until 7. Dick was running late for work so I volunteered to get the kids dressed, fed and off to school. A short while later at home, between bites of my bagel, my eyes scanned the room and settled upon a pile of unfolded laundry.

It’s really hard to relax while looking at a half finished project. You try to relax but your mind keeps drifting, imagining all of the stuff you can get done without the children around. Part of you screams, “NO! Are you crazy? Go get a pedicure, sleep, watch a Lifetime movie, anything! But don’t give in to the house work!!” The other part of you knows how utterly disgusting it feels to walk barefoot on your children’s bathroom floor and also knows what it’s like to try to mop with 2 bickering overly enthusiastic “helpers” shadowing you like the paparazzi on Branjelina. When faced with numerous glaring chores and the prospect of all that help, if you’re like me, you usually slap some tape over the inner voice that wants a nap and choose to clean, instead.

Just as I was about to move from laundry and into cleaning, I heard my phone ring. It was Dick reminding me about the 12 o’clock doctor’s appointment for Adam that I had completely forgotten about. CRAP! It was 11:57 as I tossed aside my cleaning supplies and bolted out the door.

My remaining Thursday afternoon was spent rushing from the doctor’s office, to the store, back home and then off to daycare by 6 o’clock to grab the children. With the babysitter due at 6:45 and me without a shower or a plan for feeding the kids some dinner, I felt as if I’d been mugged - my free time stolen by some thug who then had the gaul to leave me with his two annoying kids to take care of. But, wait, those kids are mine…

Friday, July 4th. Although the kids and Dick were home, I was still, technically, on vacation. I mean, it wasn’t going to be the kind of vacation day that was quiet or relaxing, but at least I didn’t have to “be” anywhere or “do” anything. Except now I felt an annoying, sore tickle in the back of my throat and later that day I found I was running a low-grade fever, suffering from body aches and developing a persistent sinus headache. I had caught Adam’s cold.

Saturday, July 5th. Someone please kill me because I don’t have the energy to do it myself. I guess the final insult here is that I spent my entire vacation either working or taking care of everyone else and now when I need to return to work, I’m sick. Oh well. Maybe I’ll try for another vacation week next year. By then, 5 years into this whole parenting thing, surely I’ll be too daft to notice or to care that vacations aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

I’ve been in a negative place lately. Re-reading my last few posts, I have to admit that I sound exasperated with life. I fear I’ve been dumping on you, and I’m sorry.

I don’t want to get all Oprah here, but I’m thinking that the best way to redeem myself is to write about something uplifting and inspiring for a change. I can always go back to being myself later.

So, rather than take another trip down Exasperation Boulevard by analyzing the inner workings of my soul, I thought I’d write about a few of the things that speak to it.

My heart soars when I…

…hear my daughter’s laughter. Yes, it’s corny sentiment but it’s so true. Just thinking about her glowing face I can hear her infectious belly laugh in my ears and I feel, well, like giggling. My daughter inspires me to see the world, and all it’s silliness, with renewed appreciation.

…listen to the song, Dani California by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. There’s just something about the chorus of this song that transports me. No other song I can think of inspires me to think about my home from long ago. Whenever I hear it, I immediately envision the craggly hillsides and crashing waves of Laguna Beach on a summer evening.

…anything written by David Sedaris. As I read his current book, When You are Engulfed in Flames, I’m reminded of how far I have to grow as a writer. While Sedaris’ humorous essays aren’t particularly inspirational in a traditional sense, I find his comic timing impecable, and his delivery always surprising. There’s a lot to be said for anyone that can surprise me these days. But his writing somehow manages to surprise me about myself and that, in turn, inspires me to be a more creative writer.

…watch the big, fluffy evening storm clouds move across the southwest Florida skies. What Florida may lack for in dramatic coastlines, it more than makes up for with the ever-changing art gallery overhead. Between the vast cloud tops that appear to be lit with a spot light at sunset, like a glowing snapshot of a volcanic eruption cloud, and the evening skies that seem painted in a vivid wash of purple, pink, and gold, I find myself reaching for my camera nearly every night.

Aside from the sheer beauty of the skies, it’s the almost sacred quality inherent in their manufacture that I find awe-inspiring. I can certainly appreciate the enormous effort and innate creativity that goes into a human creating a work of art. Now that I’m older and possess a basic understanding of the sciencitific principles of cloud formation, I can’t help but to marvel at all of the chaotic elements and incomprehensible variables at play - water molecules, wind fluctuation, temperature, humidity, geography which all aligned and combined in a magical symphony to provide me with a brief, stunning display of texture, light and color. As I look up at their majesty I know, for a moment, why early man believed in gods of the sun and sky. How could you not believe, when faced with such spectacle?

*****

My wish for you my loyal drips, is that you find a moment or two to look outside or in for that which inspires you. Be it family, music, clouds, or even fireworks, put the ex in exasperation and try on some relaxation for a little while.