Raw Drip

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks for me, and thus, not much time for writing.  As soon as my schedule downshifts – I’ll be back with more occasionally witty commentary.

In the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy this hilarious little diversion I stumbled upon…

Okay so I know I’m a huge geek for saying this – but I SO BADLY want this to be an actual TV show…

P.S. And yes, I was totally crushing on Tom Selleck when I was 12.  Still crushing on Harrison Ford – despite  the tragically bad “Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”.

I remain firm in my beliefs that there will be no nice, new furniture for us until the children have moved out or have been incarcerated – whichever happens first.  So when it became obvious that Tabitha had outgrown her changing table cum storage I visited Craigslist to see if I could find her a chest of drawers.  But instead of finding a chest of drawers I stumbled across some great examples of humanity at its most ineptly entertaining…

*****

There seem to be a few words with the power to trip-up even the most sophisticated individual.  Words like “armoire”…

Personally dude, I'd save some of those exclamation points for the day you accidently spell a real word.Â

A "That's Amoir-ay!" approach to spelling armoire

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Looks like another tough word is “suede”.

Okay, so a simple transposition of letters could account for "seude" instead of suede, but how do you explain "coach" instead of couch and "conditon" instead of condition? One or two errors is sloppiness. Three errors suggests a few too many pre-Craigslist Appletinis.

As a writer, it's painful to see a word murdered so egregiously. The only thing worse would be...

...a double-murder. "Rod Iron"? Isn't he a a professional wrestler? Oh, you were going for "wrought" iron, you say? Â Okay, but how do you explain "swade"? Scratch that. Â Better question: how do you explain paying $150 retail per chair for 4 pineapple chairs? WTFWYT?

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Tricky words are one thing, but even the worst spelling can be overcome with some masterful selling.

I'd really love to SEE your two neat stools, but since you weren't thoughtful enough to actually include a photo of the world's neatest stools I guess they will be the two neatest stools I've NEVER SEEN.

Now this is some compelling ad copy. "House Stuff" tells me there's more than one thing and that it's from someone's house. Let me drop everything and give this guy a call RIGHT NOW!

Hm. Perhaps this guy is a little confused about basic marketing techniques. Rather than point out the flaws in your merchandise, you're supposed to highlight a few benefits for the consumer.

He does score points for honesty though.