Raw Drip

Dropping off Adam this morning, he was in an especially anxious mood.  He’d made it clear that he wasn’t feeling well (seemed fine to me) and that he didn’t want to go to school today.  I was simultaneously suspicious and sympathetic.  If I have to drag myself to my job day in and day out, it’s certainly not going to be much easier for a 4 year old to grasp the necessity of the whole boring routine.  But without a rash or a fever, what’s a working parent to do?  So I drug him to school.

Unfortunately, it didn’t make either of us feel any better when I walked my anxious, grumpy 4-year old into his room and his teacher, Miss Melissa, immediately started in with all her testy teacher talk.

Miss M to me: “Please try to get him here by 8:45. We maintain a structured schedule for the curriculum.” (For the record, we walked into the room at 8:46)

What I said: “Yes.  It’s been a crazy morning so I’m sorry we’re a little bit late.”

What I wanted to say:“Yes.  It’s been a crazy morning.  Next time you’re a millisecond late to something, I hope someone as nice as you is there to remind you of what a complete fuck-up you are.  Have a nice day!”

Miss M to Adam as he was kissing me goodbye: “Adam, time to go sit down at your table and get to work on your alphabet book – now!  And, I’m going to need to see some better listening from you today…”

What I said: “Just wrapping up our last hug & kiss here…”

What I wanted to say: “We just walked in the door.  Can you give him a few minutes to get settled before you start riding his ass, you shrew!”

I really can’t remember what it was like to decorate my living space on my own now that I have Adam & Tabitha here.  Not only have they quadruple-handedly changed my entire style, they’ve encouraged me to push the boundaries of my design horizons.  They’ve challenged my comfortable interpretations of decor by playing with traditional notions of symmetry, proportion, form and function.  And after years of resisting their influence, I’m finally learning to embrace their design philosophy. 

Like many modern artists, Adam & Tabitha’s statements are bold, tongue-in-cheek spins on traditional silhouettes.  Below is a photo of my bathroom vanity, for instance.  I’m sure you’ll agree that, at first glance, it seems very safe with its soft, spa-like colors, predictable decorating symetry and utilitarian accessorizing.  But look closer…  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you identified the Mr. Incredible action figure - you’d be correct!

In re-merchandising my space, my personal decorators have cleverly incorporated that most elusive and prized decorating element  – the unexpected.  What better way to embrace the unexpected and challenge convention than to include a miniature super hero figurine into the space?  You have to admit, it’s a bold choice and it stands in almost comical juxtaposition to the serene, yet sterile surroundings of a run-of-the-mill bathroom spa retreat.

I don’t mean to brag, but my bathroom isn’t the only room in my house where they’ve worked their magic!  Their design aesthetic has permeated most every inch of my space.  Undeniably, their presence has had a profound influence over me and my decorating choices.  Everything I thought I knew about my design aesthetic, and heck, about myself, is slowly being overtaken by Adam & Tabitha, who’ve turned out to be much, much more than mere personal decorators.  They’re also life coaches, assistant buyers, personal trainers, and constant companions. 

Thanks to them, so many of my long-held fears are being confronted every day. My miniature lifestyle tag-team forces me to push the envelope of my own expectations and slowly, I’m starting to love all of their surprises, wherever they turn up.  And that, my friends, has definitely been the unexpected.

I sat down to write tonight and turned on the TV for background noise. What a bad decision. I’m finding it difficult to focus on anything other than John McCain’s incredibly distracting tie. Maybe it would be mesmerizing if it weren’t so nauseating.

A suggestion for the McCain campaign: Always follow the Coco Chanel principle of accessorizing – check yourself in a mirror before walking out the door and remove the first thing that catches your eye.

Good advice for everyone. Especially if you’re about to participate in a televised Presidential debate in the age of HDTV and the bar code inspired tie you’ve chosen is capable of sickening Republicans & Democrats, alike.